i was better in college

instead of getting down to business and completing all of the tasks in front of me, i frequently find myself overwhelmed, discouraged, and sitting on the couch. i have so much to do, i can't get myself to do any of it.

i want to decorate our house for christmas (because, let's face it, it IS the most wonderful time of the year) but i can't bring myself to do it. i want to organize our clothes. but i can't. i want to scrub the bathrooms and kitchen til my reflection gleams in their outdated counter tops. but i can't. i want to get rid of everything that we don't need or use. but i can't. i need to finish unpacking and put everything in its place. but i can't.

in college we had deadlines. paper due november 12th. presentation on the 17th. group projects, essays, online assignments, meetings. i would procrastinate til the cows came home, but i was better under pressure and got it done. i didn't always love what i handed it, but i was proud that i waited that long and still pumped it out and got it handed in.

then you graduate and life still has deadlines, but they aren't the same. the consequences don't seem as immediate or terrible. so the living room is dusty. important paperwork in thrown in a drawer. your 'handwashables' don't get handwashed. the extra bedroom is mess and completely not functional. this is not to say that our house is in shambles. but i know i could do a better job ... right now i'm giving myself an F in domesticity.

maybe that's what i need to do - create a schedule of deadlines in my head (or on paper) for everyday tasks. set realistic goals and get things done. GET THINGS DONE. tackle one thing at a time, not 37.

perhaps this wasn't the best time of the year to have this revelation. but maybe it was. i excelled at the end of semesters - when the pressure was on. well, elle, it's crunch time again, are you going to rise or fall?